Last week I shared with you that I had discovered that my negative money story came from my parents who had acquired a scarcity mentality from growing up during the depression. Since then, I have come to realize that my fears and anxiety about money were the result of my own negative internal dialog that said things like: “you’re not good enough”, or “you can’t do it”, or “you’ll never get it right.” This was the source of the painful ebbs and flows I experienced with my finances and interfered with my manifesting skills. From my work with my clients, I know that many of you probably have the same inner voices, or ones that are unique to you and your family.
I’ve given names to some of my noisy inner voices. Last week I introduced you to Bargain Bettie, Anxious Annie, and Negative Nettie. Maybe you recognized them. Today I’m going to share with you three new voices that have obstructed the flow of money into my life. They are Meek Mellie, Frazzled Franny, and Worried Wilma. I will also share some tips as to how I learned to quiet these voices and cultivate more positive ones. If you have different “voices” you might try to identify them and come up with your own enlightened thoughts and remedies.
This is a really hard archetype for a lot of women because most women don’t acknowledge their own value. Generally women are raised to be compliant, helpful, and supportive. They are afraid to be ‘pushy’. Therefore it’s challenging for them to ‘ask for the business’, or to get their needs met, or even to defend their justified boundaries. In reality, these women are often not ‘pushy’ enough. My mother was a bright capable leader but always deferred to men because she thought they were inherently smarter, wiser and more competent; which is not always the case!
Enlightened thought: If you are seeking business, remember to present the benefits and the results your clients will get from the service or product you provide. Come from the authentic place of wanting to help improve someone’s life, business, or environment in some way – or to offer support or a service with voice of authority. You will find that your clients will respond. And remember that you have value, you are smart and competent, and you have a right to have your say and to defend your boundaries.
Remedy: Find a group that can help you overcome your insecurities about speaking up. Most communities have networking opportunities, leads groups and Toast Masters. Practice makes perfect! Know you will mess up – and that’s OK. There are lots of people wherever you are and most probably won’t remember you anyway. Practicing in front of a mirror is a good way to begin developing more confidence in speaking up.
This archetype operates under the belief that “more is better”. She generally has lots of ideas, but no focus. She believes that hard work and struggle are the only ways to make money. Therefore she can become overwhelmed, or paralyzed, or tend to waste time chasing down unnecessary worm holes. Most of this is not her fault, but is the result of wearing too many hats. Most women survive by multitasking the various responsibilities of being mother, wife, and homemaker while also balancing a job, aging parents, their children’s activities, and trying to have some kind of a life of their own.
Enlightened Thought: Hopefully, Frazzled Frannie will learn that spreading herself too thin and/or taking on too many responsibilities is counterproductive. It leads to fatigue, irritability, loss of focus, and burn-out. This archetype needs to learn to simplify and focus on the priorities, one of which is her own self-care!
Remedy: Pick 2-5 main priorities for the year and stick to them. If something comes up that is not in one of those areas, then refer it out – don’t get scattered. By staying focused you can do what you do WELL!
This Archetype tends to lives in the future and is always catastrophizing; she is always worried about what will happen IF …
She is only trying to keep you safe by alerting you to potential dangers – but she ends up erecting so many roadblocks that it becomes almost impossible to move forward. This constant worrying and feeling stuck is a time and energy suck!
In reality, the archetypes from last week and this are trying to help in some way:
Bargain Betty – wants to save money.
Frazzled Franny – thinks that if you rush can maybe get everything done.
Meek Mellie, Anxious Annie, Negative Nettie, and Worried Wilma – are just trying to keep you safe from embarrassing or dangerous situations.
They need to be forgiven because they are simply younger, more vulnerable, parts of you that haven’t realized that you have become so much bigger, wiser, more informed and competent than you felt when you created these inner personas earlier in your life.
Once you’ve identified the archetypes that are obstructing the flow of money and success and forgiven them, then you can focus on creating your positive archetype, the Money Diva, who allows you to succeed.
The Money Diva believes in herself and knows her worth. She radiates confidence and knows the value of what she has to offer. Living with integrity, she is in service to the greater good and doesn’t sell herself or her services short.
Sanaya Roman, in her book Creating Money, says your beliefs create your reality. She goes on to say that beliefs are assumptions about the nature of reality because you create what you believe. You will always find proof for whatever it is you believe: I.e. If a person believes the universe is abundant, they will act as if the universe is abundant and they will attract abundance. If they believe money comes with hard work and struggle, making money will be hard. If they believe they can’t hold onto money, then money will appear to slip through their fingers. We will have whatever experience that proves what we believe.
Therefore, if we change what we believe, we can change what we experience. We can co-create our reality.