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Five Ways to Make Positive Change

Have you ever made a commitment to change, only to find out 3 days, or a week, or a couple of weeks later you’ve thrown in the towel and given up? Maybe you convinced yourself that the change wasn’t really necessary. Or maybe you just feel discouraged with the slow progress, or possibly you simply cave in and add one more failure to your long list of supposed failures.

If this is you, then it’s time to ease up on yourself!

We humans evolved to keep things the same. It’s an ingrained survival technique. Being able to repeat behaviors automatically saves time, effort, and the challenge of making decisions repeatedly over the course of our days.

It is possible to change, however. You just need to understand how the mind works so that you can work with your mind to make change more easily.

Most commitments to change fail because they are made with the conscious mind. Yet it’s in your subconscious mind where all the action takes place! Your subconscious mind is responsible for your thoughts and behaviors – and frequently overrides the intentions of your conscious mind. Willpower is not enough. If you don’t engage your subconscious mind, lasting change can be elusive!

Changing thoughts and behaviors in the subconscious requires using your imagination, adding emotional content, and repetition!

Reframe your thoughts. You may have great intentions about implementing a new behavior or practice – take exercising for example – but may really think it is just too much work! Those negative thoughts will sabotage you every time! So reframe your thoughts and add some positive emotions to it. Take a moment to come up with several good reasons why you want to change like, “Exercising will give me more energy.” Or, “I will look better and feel better if I exercise.” Then every time those negative thoughts creep up, replace them immediately with your positive ones.

Replace your habit with something healthy. We humans tend to repeat habits that comfort or soothe us when stressed. We get stuck and don’t consider healthier options. So if you are trying to change a habit – like quitting smoking – think of 5 things you can do instead of reaching for that cigarette. How about a glass of water, a cup of tea, a short walk, read a magazine article, chew a stick of sugarless gum. A craving lasts 3 to 5 minutes. If you can distract yourself, it will pass and you will be on your way to beating that old habit.

Visualize the end result. Goals are very important. Visualizing your goal will help you achieve it. It is one thing to want to lose weight. It is quite another thing to want to look great in a bathing suit for summer, or those tight jeans and tank top! Keeping a strong visual of your specific goal and how you will feel when you achieve that goal will help you succeed.

Replace those “bloopers.” We all have inner videos – little replays of past memories that I call the “bloopers.” They have a powerful hold over our behaviors. So if you want to change – like having a better social life – but you keep replaying those “bloopers” of when you bombed at a date, or were the wallflower at a dance, you will never even get started. So create your own videos. Why not! Have fun with it! See yourself in social settings engaged in conversations, laughing and having a great time. You will be amazed at how creating your own inner videos can improve your life.

Stay Positive. Implementing new behaviors can bring up a lot of emotions. Believe it or not, there is a part of us that assumes keeping everything the same is in our best interest. So when you want to change you may feel tired, bored with the effort, irritated because you aren’t doing it right, and even anxious. These resistances are normal, but they don’t need to stop your progress. When you feel them, just acknowledge them as old feelings, and then focus on how good you’re going to feel when you complete the task, project, or succeed at putting into action your new behavior.

By implementing these five ways to make change you will find it is easier to make positive change. However, if you find that you still lack the motivation to accomplish your goals, please contact me for a free consultation to see how life coaching with hypnotherapy can help you achieve success. Call 415-819-8769 or email Joy TODAY!

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What Is More Important Than Success?

Success comes and goes, but integrity is forever!

Integrity means doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances, whether or not anyone is watching. It takes courage at times to do the right thing. Sometimes the consequences of doing the right thing can be brutal. It wasn’t easy for those who stood up for the Jews during WWII, nor was it easy for those who stood up for the rights of all during the early days of the Civil Rights movement. The initial rewards may be the knowledge that you can live with yourself because you stood up for what you believed in.

Building a reputation of integrity takes years. Yet it takes only a second to lose it! Never allow yourself to ever do anything that would damage your integrity.

We live in a world where integrity isn’t talked about nearly enough. We live in a world where “the end justifies the means” has become an acceptable school of thought for far too many. Sales people overpromise and under deliver, all in the name of making their quota for the month. Applicants exaggerate in job interviews because they desperately need a job. Partners tell a white lie because telling the truth may start an unpleasant argument. Customer service representatives cover up a mistake they made because they are afraid the client will leave them. Employees call in “sick” because they don’t have any more paid time off when they actually just need to get their Christmas shopping done. The list could go on and on, and in each case the person committing the act of dishonesty told themselves they had a perfectly valid reason why the end result justified their lack of integrity.

Sometimes people think they can get ahead or gain power quickly and easily if they just cut a few corners and act ‘outside the constraints of morality’. Dishonesty may provide instant gratification in the short term, but it never lasts. I had one person who was close to me who told a series of white lies to keep in my good graces. Eventually, of course, I wised up to his white lies. When I realized I couldn’t believe anything he told me, it undermined our relationship. It disintegrated because there was nothing left to hold it together.

People will be able to get so far without integrity, but eventually the truth will be found out. Then that person has lost their ability to be trusted. Integrity is the most valuable quality anyone can have in their life. Profit in dollars or power is temporary, but profit in a network of people who trust you as a person of integrity is forever.

Every individual who trusts you will spread the word to at least a few of their friends, family members and associates – the word of your character will spread like wildfire. The value of the trust others have in you is immeasurable.  For entrepreneurs it means investors that are willing to trust them with their money. For employees it means a manager or a boss that is willing to trust them with additional responsibility and growth opportunities. For companies it means customers that trust giving them more and more business. For you it means having an assortment of people that are willing to go the extra mile to help you because they know that recommending you to others will never bring damage to their own reputation of integrity. Yes, the value of the trust others have in YOU goes beyond anything that can be measured. It goes beyond immediate success because it opens doors to more opportunities and endless possibilities.

Speaking your truth and standing up for what is right can be challenging and take courage. If you need help with stepping into your power and potential please contact Joy today for a complimentary 30 minute consultation. Email Joy or call Joy today at 415-819-8769.

Adapted from a Forbes article by Amy Rees Anderson 
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Deepening Connection Through Compassionate Communication

When we pay attention to the words we use and how we use them, we can improve and deepen our relationships with others.

Let’s imagine you have a friend, let’s call her Sally, who is quick to give unsolicited advice when all you want is a sympathetic ear to a troubling situation in your life. Every time this happens you feel frustrated and annoyed. You might want to lash out at Sally, or you might realize you don’t want to share anything with Sally again. Then you may start to feel guilty because you know that Sally has a good heart and is only trying to help, even if you don’t welcome her advice.

When a person or situation triggers disagreeable emotions, then feelings of resentment and negativity can arise. These negative emotions are a reflexive response that helps us protect our egos. Yet it also causes us to avoid the hard work of examining our own emotions and culpability. In addition, the trouble with resentment and bad feelings is that it usually makes unpleasant situations even worse.

When we’re able to pause before we react and take the time to identify what’s going on beneath any confrontational feelings or responses, then we can approach the situation with more compassion and understanding.

We can learn how to do this by practicing compassionate communication, an approach to speaking and listening that helps us respond to others more effectively in even the most difficult situations. Practicing compassionate communication promotes deeper connections with loved ones, more harmonious relationships and a greater sense of inner peace.

Compassionate Communication Protocol

Compassionate communication was created by clinical psychologist Marshall B. Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Rosenberg’s technique for communicating compassionately relies on four core steps:

  1. Observe the situation and then state your observation without judgment.
  2. State the emotional response you are having to that observation.
  3. Connect to what you need that isn’t being addressed.
  4. Make a reasonable request from the other person.
Let’s return to the situation with Sally to help us put this protocol into action. You are sharing with Sally what has upset you. Once again she starts to give advice on how you should handle the situation. You notice that you are beginning to feel annoyed and resentful. Rather than allowing these negative feelings to fester you can:

Observe the situation and then state your observation without judgment.

Sally, I’m noticing that when I share with you something that is bothering me you are quick to give me advice on how I should handle the situation.

State the emotional response you are having to that observation.

When you do this, I notice that I start to feel annoyed and frustrated.

Connect to what you are needing that isn’t being addressed.

What I really need from you is not advice, but a sympathetic ear. I need to know that I am being heard, and that you really care about me and what I am going through.

Make a reasonable request from the other person.

In the future when I share something with you, it would mean a lot to me if you would just listen and offer me some understanding and sympathy.

Humans share several core needs, including autonomy, physical nurturance, connection and respect. Most of our communication is an attempt to meet one of those needs. When we can connect to our emotions and ascertain when and what needs are not being met, then we can communicate those needs to others and ask for what we need.

In my experience, people want to feel genuinely connected to others, to be helpful, and to share and receive care and concern. No one wants to push our friends and loved ones away, creating separation and bad feelings. It’s just that many of us have learned some unhelpful ways of how to communicate. Most people are only too happy to offer you what you need; they just need to know what that is. Often they need us to spell it out for them.

Learning to communicate compassionately takes some practice, but the shift in the dynamic between two people when we make the effort to communicate with compassion can create greater understanding and lead to increased connection and genuine care and concern. Everyone benefits!

If you are having trouble with your communication with your friends and loved ones, please contact Joy to find out how she can help you communicate with greater compassion. Joy offers a complimentary 30-minute consultation. Contact Joy to schedule a consultation today. Call 415-819-8769 or email Joy today.
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Are you experiencing a toxic relationship?

Are you experiencing a toxic relationship?

It might be a quarrelsome in-law or relative that you have to see on a regular basis. Or an intimidating boss that you report to. Or it might be a domineering co-worker who makes too many suggestions about how you should do your job, or a friend who offers way too much advice.

If you are struggling with a toxic relationship, then here is an article that you might find helpful that was recently published in Yes Magazine. It was shared with me by my friend Marty Maskall.

When a relationship is causing you stress and suffering, follow these five steps to find peace for yourself.

1. Accept that you are in a difficult situation, dealing with a very difficult relationship

Your choices here are fairly limited, and, strangely, acceptance is always the best choice. You can judge and criticize the other person, but that will probably make you feel tense and lonely. Alternately, you could nurse your anxiety and despair that you’ll never be able to get along with them, which will make you feel stressed and sad. You can definitely deny their existence or pretend that they aren’t bothering you. You can block their texts and emails, and avoid every situation where they’ll turn up.

These are all tactics of resistance, and they won’t protect you. These tactics will allow the other person to further embed themselves into your psyche.

What does work is to accept that your relationship with them is hard, and also that you are trying to make it less hard. This gentle acceptance does not mean that you are resigned to a life of misery, or that the situation will never get better. Maybe it will-and maybe it won’t. Accepting the reality of a difficult relationship allows us to soften. And this softening will open the door to your own compassion and wisdom.

Trust me: You are going to need those things.

2. The other person will probably tell you that you are the cause of all their bad feelings

This is not true. You are not responsible for their emotions. You never have been, and you never will be. Don’t take responsibility for their suffering; if you do, they will never have the opportunity to take responsibility for themselves.

3. Tell the truth

When you lie (perhaps to avoid upsetting them), you become complicit in the creation and maintenance of their reality, which is poisonous to you. For example, they might ask you if you forgot to invite them to a party. You can easily say yes, that it was a mistake that they didn’t get the Evite, and did they check their spam folder?

But lying is very stressful for human beings, maybe the most stressful thing. Lie detectors detect not lies, but the subconscious stress and fear that lying causes. This will not make the relationship less toxic.

So, instead, tell the truth. Be sure to tell them your truth instead of your judgment, or what you imagine to be true for other people. Don’t say “I didn’t invite you because it would stress Mom out too much to have you there” or “I didn’t invite you because you are a manipulative drama queen who will find some way to make the evening about you.”

Instead, tell them your truth: “When you are in my home, I feel jittery and nervous, and I can’t relax, so I didn’t invite you to the party. I’m sorry that I’ve hurt your feelings.”

It takes courage to tell the truth, because often it makes people angry. But they will probably be mad at you anyway, no matter what you do. They almost certainly won’t like the new, truth-telling you-and that will make them likely to avoid you in the future. This might be a good thing.

4. If you feel angry or afraid, bring your attention to your breath and do not speak (or write) to the person until you feel calm

It’s normal to want to defend yourself, but remember that anger and anxiety weaken you. Trust that soothing yourself is the only effective thing you can do right now. If you need to excuse yourself, go ahead and step out. Even if it is embarrassing or it leaves people hanging.

5. Have mercy

Anne Lamott defines mercy as radical kindness bolstered by forgiveness, and it allows us to alter a communication dynamic, even when we are interacting with someone mired in anger or fear or jealousy. We do this by offering them a gift from our heart. You probably won’t be able to get rid of your negative thoughts about them, and you won’t be able to change them, but you can make an effort to be a loving person. Can you buy them a cup of coffee? Can you hold space for their suffering? Can you send a loving-kindness meditation their way?

Forgiveness takes this kindness to a whole new level. I used to think I couldn’t really forgive someone who’d hurt me until they’d asked for forgiveness, preferably in the form of a moving and remorseful apology letter.

But I’ve learned that to heal ourselves we must forgive whether or not we’re asked for forgiveness, and whether or not the person is still hurting us. When we do, we feel happier and more peaceful. This means that you might need to forgive the other person at the end of every day-or, on bad days, every hour. Forgiveness is an ongoing practice, not a one-time deal.

When we find ways to show mercy to even the person who has cost us sleep and love and even our well-being, something miraculous happens. “When we manage a flash of mercy for someone we don’t like, especially a truly awful person, including ourselves,” Anne Lamott writes, “we experience a great spiritual moment, a new point of view that can make us gasp.”

Here’s the real miracle: Our mercy boomerangs back to us. When we show radical kindness, forgiveness, and acceptance-and when we tell the truth in even the most difficult relationship-we start to show ourselves those things. We realize that we can love and forgive and accept even the most terrible aspects of our own being, even if it is only for a moment. We start to show ourselves the truth, and this makes us feel free.
And, in my experience, this makes all we have suffered worth it.

This article was originally published by Greater Good. It was edited for YES! Magazine. 
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I Have to Make You Understand!

When I was younger, I felt a need to express whatever was on my mind just to make sure my partner knew what I was thinking and feeling. This was especially true when I was frustrated, upset or angry at them. I believed in the myth that communication was key! It always improved the quality of a relationship.

What I’ve learned the hard way over the 60+ years of my life is that “positive” communication can deepen the feelings between two people. “Negative” communication, however, can be damaging and create barriers to intimacy, especially if it is a large part of the communication that’s going on in a relationship.

When people have critical or judgmental feelings for each other and spend the majority of time expressing them, it doesn’t clear the air and bring clarity. Instead it can act as a wedge that drives people further apart. One famous relationship expert, George S. Pransky, wrote, “Communication is a pipe through which feelings pass. If the feelings are positive, the relationship will be uplifted. If they are negative, the couple’s level of closeness will drop.”

Many of my clients who are experiencing ‘challenges’ in their relationships don’t realize that it’s positive feelings and a sense of appreciation and goodwill that brings closeness between couples. Not More Talk! And these good feelings can be expressed in many more innovative ways than through just talking.

It’s as if there is a relationship bank account. Feelings are the deposits and withdrawals. When there is a lot of goodwill and positive feelings toward each other, deposits are made. Communication and actions expressing ill will (frustration, anger, irritation, criticism) are withdrawals. As a matter of fact, there is no such thing as a productive discussion that alienates people!

A rule of thumb I suggest to my clients is that if they or their partner are in a bad mood, to hold off on any deep conversations. Wait until both of you are feeling calmer and more objective.

If you’re still bothered by the issue after calming down, then bring it up preferably in a composed, non-confrontational manner. Focus on how your partner’s behavior or comments made you feel. Then let them know how a different approach would make you feel better.

If you find that after 5-10 minutes things are not getting better, and are in fact getting worse, then just STOP THE CONVERSATION and try again later. Talking an issue to death will not make things better, and will most likely intensify feelings of ill-will.

I wish I knew this nugget of wisdom two marriages ago!

Troubled relationships are one of the most common reasons why a client comes to see me. If you’re having difficulties in your relationship and can’t seem to make things better, then give me a call to schedule a 30-minute complementary consultation to see how I might be able to help. Contact me TODAY or call 415-819-8769. For more information about my services go to JoyReichard.com.
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Where are the Good Stewards?

Whether you are a Creationist or a Darwinist or anywhere in between, I think we can all agree that our planet’s very existence is a miracle. Our human evolution up to this moment in time is even more so. Life on Earth is a gift. Yet we aren’t taking very good care of it.

Is it our right to dominate the earth, as many of our forefathers thought? Or are we supposed to be the good stewards?

To be a steward is to be tasked with the job of looking after someone or something. At one time the abundance of the earth seemed limitless. Land was for the taking. Now humans have taken over, and pollution is everywhere! Even our oceans have become huge waste disposal sites, with waste washing up on shore or collecting in big swirls of garbage on the surface of the ocean.

This is why I believe our relationship to the earth should shift from “dominion over” to being the “Good Stewards” of the Earth.

Our relationship with Earth is so important that all religions put emphasis on looking after the planet. It is also a finely balanced relationship which is why, now that we are taking too much from the planet, environmental systems are starting to collapse. Even one of the world major religious leaders, Pope Francis, stated (paraphrased):

The human family has received from the Creator a common gift: nature. We are called to exercise a responsible stewardship over nature. Yet so often we are driven by greed and by the arrogance of dominion, possession, manipulation and exploitation … we do not preserve nature, nor do we respect it or consider it a gracious gift which we must care for and set at the service of our brothers and sisters, including future generations…

The notion of Stewardship is non-denominational, however. It applies to any and every person who lives, works and breathes upon the planet regardless of what religion they do, or do not, subscribe to.  It is a duty that we all have. There is no denying that we are going to have to make some sacrifices if we are to rectify the problems we have caused as a species. Yet that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the beauty of nature or engage in the fun, joy or sense of adventure while we relearn how to live without negatively impacting our planet.

We all crave peace. We, humanity, have had our fill of war and the inhumanity and devastation it brings.  Peace and Stewardship go hand-in-hand, mutually influencing the other.  We cannot be Good Stewards of the planet if we are not first at peace within ourselves (the peaceful seek only to cherish, uplift and nurture, not destroy). What follows is the realization that a big part of creating a peaceful world also lies in valuing our relationship to nature and to each other. When we appreciate what the earth has to offer, and truly understand the inter-relationship of ourselves to nature and each other, then we know that an offense to another being, or to any part of our planet, is an offense to ourselves.

Despite all our material advances in living conditions we are, both in evolutionary and spiritual terms, still creatures of the Earth. We are still intimately connected to the energetic web of life. Our actions matter!  Our actions have consequences. We think we are smarter than the earth, but we are not. There is a popular saying: “God always forgives, we sometimes forgive, but when nature – creation – is mistreated, she never forgives!”

It’s time to rethink our relationship to our planet and to become the Good Stewards. It will take each one of us to be the change that will save our planet, and ourselves.
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Honesty and Integrity: Are they outdated values?

I have always prided myself for living in a country that valued its integrity and human rights policy. Now, with tweets of “Fake News” and accusations of lies, of withholding truth, or alternative facts, I find myself questioning the importance of honesty and integrity. For me, this also brings into question our relationships: with our loved ones, that special loved one, with our community, or public leaders, and with ourselves.

Without relationships, I feel the human experience of life as we know it cannot exist. (This is a subject for a blog post on another day.)

Relationships are, of course, complicated and have many elements – but there is one element that glues everything together. That fundamental element is trust.

How do you build trust in your relationships – including your relationship with yourself?
Live your life with these two values: 

Honesty and Integrity.

Honesty: Be true to others in all that you do.

I had two very important relationships in the past with individuals who were not always truthful to me. The mistruths, deceptions, and outright lies eventually broke my trust. Once that trust was broken, I couldn’t get it back. At my core I no longer trusted that person. Consequently, it destroyed the relationship.

What happens, then, when our public leaders withhold truth, lie, or consistently make accusations of others, thereby misconstruing the truth?

Integrity: Be true to yourself in all that you do.
Integrity is intertwined with your values. I learned my values from a composite of what was taught to me by my parents, my religious upbringing, and from my education. They included basic concepts like:
  • All people have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
  • Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
  • Be compassionate to those in need.
  • Be tolerant of differences.
  • Do no harm.
  • People have the right to be free of discrimination based on race, color, gender, national origin, age, religion, creed, disability, veteran’s status, sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.
Why are these values so important?

First, the greatest success in life is being happy with yourself. If integrity is absent from your life, you cannot be happy with yourself. Sure, you can still pursue pleasure … but you will be blocking yourself from any significant fulfillment. If honesty is absent, you will have to lie to yourself to be able to come “comfortably” to terms with your own actions. And the minute you lie to yourself, you violate your integrity … and, in the process, block yourself from true happiness and fulfillment.

If you cannot be honest with people, you cannot develop long-term meaningful relationships with anyone, because there is no trust between you. No matter how skilled you are at being deceptive, the truth eventually comes to the surface. When it does, trust is gone. Without trust the relationship begins to erode like a cancer from within.

If you are not honest with yourself … if you violate your own values, you will have difficulty trusting yourself. You will eventually become overwhelmed with doubt, and with good reason.

This is why I can’t support reducing taxes when one of the costs is sacrificing affordable healthcare for everyone and giving windfalls to the wealthy. Why I can’t stand behind closing our borders to refugees escaping the horrors of war because they come from countries known to house terrorists. Why I can’t support billions of dollars being invested in a wall to separate us from our neighbors, when these same neighbors are so desperate for employment they will take our most menial of jobs. Not to mention that this wall will siphon off funds from much needed programs to help our children, seniors, and the ill or vulnerable.

If you think that taking a shortcut, and sacrificing your integrity and living out of alignment with basic values, will somehow get you more money, success and security or even more fun and pleasure, think again. You’re probably thinking short term. In the long term, violating trust with others or with your self is the surest way to failure. Also, remember to never confuse pleasure with happiness … they are very different terms and values (again, another post for another day – but the basic idea is that pleasure is a shorter term feeling while happiness is a long-term element of the human experience).

Of course, your values and the meanings you attach to honesty and integrity can be different from mine – but regardless of how you define these values, I strongly urge you to take a serious look at how you apply these values in your life, your business, your relationships, and your responses to the world. Short-term results may be deceiving – think about the life you want to create … the person you want to become… and the world you want your grandchildren to inherit.

Adapted from

FreedomPassionPurpose.com….

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Everyone Is Psychic, Including YOU!

In last week’s article I wrote that everyone is psychic. I also gave you a list of 10 questions to ask yourself to determine if you were psychic. Did you answer YES to any of the questions?

Here is another way to know if you have any psychic abilities:

Your interest is already a sign!

When you show a particular interest in a specific topic it implies that you already have some awareness around it. Therefore you have a better chance to increase and develop those abilities. Curiosity, motivation and dedication are key for the development of proficiency in a particular subject!


Belief and Psychic Abilities

Another common theme related to this question is whether or not you need to “believe” in psychic powers. Some psychics and teachers of psychism propose that you don’t need to believe in it at all. As a matter of fact, approaching the subject with an open mind and with a healthy dose of skepticism can be very helpful in differentiating sensations from the physical body, imagination, and real psychic perception. This will allow you to validate the presence of your psychic abilities by way of your own experiences.

This approach requires you to accept that sometimes you simply will not know exactly what happened! This is to be expected. Don’t let it discourage you. What is important is that if you do have a new or unusual experience that you will learn how to identify when it’s the result of your psychic ability. You will gain more proficiency in this as you gather more experience.

The Stereotypical Image of Psychics

A lot of movies unfortunately portray the psychic ability as something obscure (in horror movies, for example), mystical (in some dramas and action movies), or pertaining to a person that is imbalanced or unstable (to avoid the word “crazy”), or that has some grave illness (a brain tumor), suffered an injury, had a near-death experience, or was hit by lightning.

These references give an inaccurate impression that psychic abilities only happens in odd circumstances, which is not the case at all. There are plenty of rational healthy people that have extraordinary psychic experiences. There are also people that apply a rational approach to their psychic abilities and apply those experiences for personal growth.

Different Types of Psychic Abilities

Psychic abilities are natural abilities, and as such some may be learned and some will happen spontaneously. Some may be good at one modality, for example, telepathy, but inexperienced in another, for example, clairvoyance. Here is a list of different psychic modalities:

Clairvoyant – the person who can clearly see non-physical realities or dimensions, surrounding energies, auras, physical people’s psychospheres, and non-physical consciousness.

Clairaudient – the person who can hear events occurring at long distance, in the physical world, and events occurring in non-physical dimensions.

Clairsensitive – the person who can feel the surrounding energies and non-physical consciousnesses. You can also train to feel all that touches (or could touch) your skin at a distance from it, by exteriorizing your sensitivity to the periphery of your *energosoma. Some Sensitives are also good at smelling non-physical fragrances.

Remote-viewer – the phenomenon of remote-viewing can also be technically called travelling clairvoyance. Therefore the remote-viewer can clearly see consciousnesses, places, and events happening at long distance, either in the physical dimension or in non-physical dimensions. The remote viewer can also describe to an audience, even with eyes open, what is being seen, what is happening in real-time.

Lucid Projector – astral traveller or sky walker, the person that leaves the physical body or soma sleeping in the physical dimension and explores with the psychosoma other physical or non-physical locations, thus gathering information the soma cannot obtain during the waking state.

Lucid dreamer – the person that achieves control of dreams, becomes increasingly more lucid, and can use the trigger(s) of his/her lucid dreams to further increase lucidity and induce conscious lucid projections (astral travelling).

Precognitor – the person that develops the capacity to gather information from a possible future. To be able to access information from the future means only that you can ‘read’ the possibilities. The future may or may not unfold according to these possibilities, because consciousness still has freewill and with it the capacity of choice that can change the future.

Retrocognitor – the person that acquires information from past lives or from the intervals between physical lives where the consciousness lived in non-physical dimensions.

Telepath – the person that can ‘read’ the information being transmitted mind-to-mind in physical or non-physical dimensions between the consciousnesses. The telepath is a receptor and a transmitter.

Intuitive – the person that can get an intimate clear knowledge of things, and grabs insights that escape the normal thought process. The immediate and instinctive represents a shortcut that can jump over reason thus adding to intelligence.

Medium – person that mediates and brings information from the non-physical dimensions to the physical dimension, I.e. talking to individuals who have passed on.

Telekinesist – the person that can move objects without touching them. Besides making objects move in your awakened state, people can do things like finding objects or making them disappear, or produce phenomena such as: combustion, electromagnetic, electrochemical, photogenic, mechanical, nuclear chemical, and sonorous effects.
*Energosoma – The energetic parabody of the human consciousness. The energosoma forms a junction between the soma and the psychosoma, acting as a point of connection through which consciential energy flows from one consciential vehicle to the other. Also referred to as holochakra.

Adapted from an article on Psychic Abilities by the International Academy of Consciousness

If you are curious about accessing your own “inner-seeing” abilities then please join us for:

What’s a Psychic & How Can You Access Your Own Inner Seeing?
A Powerful Discussion with 3 Clairvoyant Seers 
Hosted by
In Her Name Circle
7:00 PM
Friday, May 26, 2017
Unitarian Universalist Congregation
300 E. Santa Inez, San Mateo, CA 94401
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Are Psychic Abilities Real? And How Do You Know if You Have Them?

Psychic abilities and psychic powers allow you to have perceptions beyond the physical body. They are part of the daily life of many. You will find countless references in books, movies and the internet for phenomena such as telepathy, clairvoyance, intuition and premonition, which are some types of non-physical (or extra-physical) perception. But how can you know if you have psychic abilities?

Many of us have thought about this question at some point in our lives. Maybe one day you find you have very clear intuition, another day you may experience déjà vú, or maybe you have experienced a lucid dream or even clairvoyance, possibly when you were younger.


How do we know if we are psychic?

So, after experiencing one or more of these things, how do you know if you have psychic abilities? The answer is really simple:

We are all psychic!

Some of us are more psychic than others. We all have different levels of natural psychic abilities, so we all possess the ability of being a proper psychic with the right training and techniques.

Psychic abilities are in fact a ‘kind of intelligence’; you learn them in the same way you learn how to play the piano or drive a car. You simply learn how to become psychic.

But it is important to understand there are people that have developed this intelligence much more than others; so, for them, it is simply a part of their lives. Others have an intention of further developing, increasing and/or controlling their abilities.

If you want to know if you already possess these types of abilities (or Parapsychic Intelligence), pay attention to occurrences as you go through life that might lead you to come to this conclusion.

Understanding Psychic Abilities

The first step is to understand the different ways that information can reach you. For instance, if you touch a metallic door knob you will get the sensation that it is cold. You perceive this via a physical sense.

On the other hand, have you ever been relaxing and felt a tingling sensation between your eyebrows that persists for more than a minute? It might have felt as if a feather was touching that area repeatedly when there was actually nothing physical touching that area. If so, then that might have been your psychic perception at work. In other words, you experienced a sensation that can’t be explained in physical terms. It was a non-physical body sensation that came from your energy body. The technical term is energosoma.

Another kind of psychic ability is the ability to see auras. We all have had the experience of looking at someone and being able to see the details of her face, hair, eyes, etc. This is the result of your eyes, brain, and all the physical parts of your body that are involved in physical sight.

If, however, you’ve also seen a bright envelope around the person which is about five centimeters thick along with brightness and colors around the head that extends up to 20 centimeters from the head, then this is psychic ability. You would be seeing her aura, something that is extra-physical and not accessible through your physical eyes.

You might wonder if this could simply be your imagination. The thing is, however, imagination is something you decide to put into work. It’s your will power at work. We can apply the same “tests” to differentiate physical and psychic perceptions.
In the metallic door knob example, you can ask yourself “am I imagining this psychic ability?” If after you verify this you continue to feel the coldness of the metal, then you know the physical perception is there.

In a psychic perception, you frequently need to be in a passive, receptive state, trying to “listen” or “receive” the perception without letting your expectation or will interfere. If you train this ability along with your physical perceptions, it will be easier for you to identify when you have a psychic perception.

Put your Psychic Abilities Through the Test:
10 Questions that Will Help You Assess Your Psychic Abilities
  1. Have you felt drained after meeting someone? Like you need to have a quick nap?
  2. Have you ever had a feeling that something is about to happen to someone around you only to find out it actually happened soon after?
  3. Have you ever visited a friend in his/her house (feeling great when arriving) but then left feeling really tired? (when there is no drinking or eating involved)
  4. Have you ever woken up remembering a very lucid dream or an out-of-body experience?
  5. Have you ever had a lucid out-of-body experience?
  6. How about clairvoyance? Have you ever had a flash and you were able to see other dimensions or people that have already passed away?
  7. Intuition: is it common to you? How relevant are your intuitions?
  8. Have you ever been able to predict the future?
  9. How about past events? Have you ever had a retrocognition or recollection of a previous life?
  10. Have you ever felt spontaneous vibration within your body when waking up or when falling asleep?
If you have answered ‘yes’ or agreed with any of these questions there are possibilities that you possess a good level of psychism, that’s how simple it is to tell if you possess psychic abilities.
Look for next week’s article for more information about and the different types of psychic abilities.

If you are curious about accessing your own “inner-seeing” abilities then please join us for:

What’s a Psychic & How Can You Access Your Own Inner Seeing?
A Powerful Discussion with 3
Clairvoyant Seers
Hosted by:
In Her Name Circle
7:00 PM
Friday, May 26, 2017
Unitarian Universalist Congregation
300 E. Santa Inez, San Mateo, CA 94401

 

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Aphrodite and the Transforming Qualities of Self-Love

Most people know of Aphrodite as the goddess of love. She is that, but she’s also much more. She is the mistress of all kinds of love and passion – passion for art, a special interest, friendship, romantic love, and self-love.

The earliest myth of the birth of Aphrodite comes from Hesiod. Ouranos (Heaven) forbid his offspring with Gaia (Earth) to see light, the space between Heaven and Earth. One night when Heaven lay with Earth, their son, Chronos (Time), harvested Heaven’s genitals and threw them into the stormy sea. From this immortal flesh mixed with sea foam, rose the beautiful Aphrodite who inspired love in everyone and everything that came into her presence.

Aphrodite’s innocence – her virginity – was renewed on an annual basis. At her temple on Crete, her priestesses carried her statue into the sea for a ritual bathing. This act was a re-creation and restoration of Aphrodite’s virginity by the Graces. Once she was caught by her husband, Hephaestus, making love with her lover, Ares, God of War, and he humiliated her before the other gods. Aphrodite fled to Crete where the Graces washed and anointed her with ambrosial oil, restoring the goddess to her original state of purity and virginity.

This return to innocence is one of Aphrodite’s many gifts to you. Yes, you can be restored from the wounds of heartbreak, regret, guilt, and shame. Your past does not need to be your present. But for healing, you must first love and honor yourself.

The personal transformation that comes from self-care and self-love is another one of Aphrodite’s gifts. Many images depict her gazing at herself in a mirror, or bathing, or luxuriating with her nymphs. Some of us work-aholics and self-beraters might view her with contempt for being so self-indulgent. But there is a much deeper message in Aphrodite’s love for herself and her body. She appreciates what her body does for her and she loves to be adorned with beauty. For beauty is inspirational. It enables us to get a taste of the sublime.

Too often we are so hard on ourselves. The comments some of us make about ourselves we wouldn’t even say about someone we didn’t like. Too often we deprive ourselves by not getting enough sleep, or enough nourishing food, or time for pleasure and play. Instead we may work way too hard depriving ourselves of some of our basic needs.

Aphrodite’s message is that when we do take care of ourselves we feel so much better. Our souls are more joyous. We sleep better because we aren’t so stressed. Play and pleasure gives us joy, which dispels anxiety and worry. Our relationships are more rewarding because we aren’t grumpy, fatigued, and short tempered.

Self-love is taking care of ourselves so that we can show up as a happier, more joyous person. It actually enables us to be more effective and productive because we are more able to find joy and passion in what we do.

Aphrodite Meditation
This week, spend time for five minutes a day on the meditation below:

Relax. Choose an image of Aphrodite that appeals to you and gaze upon it. Visualize her energy flowing into you. Feel her divine energy of love and healing embrace you. Allow yourself to feel Joy.

If you are in the Sacramento area, then please join me for an evening of circling with Aphrodite. Listen to her myths that have messages for contemporary women and participate in a self-blessing ritual.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017, 6:30 – 8:30 pm
 
Blossoming Paths
10227 Fair Oaks Blvd, Fair Oaks, CA
 
For more info, click HERE 
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