Have you ever struggled with a decision?

Have you been so paralyzed by difficult choices that you end up doing nothing?

Of course you have! We all have. Especially in today’s world because we are confronted with way too many options!

I recently struggled with a decision. I was about to take action on something, but paused just long enough to realize it just might be motivated by my Aries impulsiveness. My impulsiveness has gotten me in trouble before, big time! I didn’t want to make another decision that I was going to end up regretting… not again! So, I called a friend. Sure enough, she told me that what I was about to do was a stupid idea. She saved me from making a costly mistake. (This is why we need our girlfriends – especially the ones who’ll tell ‘you like it is,’ and won’t pussy-foot around being nice!)

In reality, I already knew it was a bad idea. That’s why I hesitated. If it had been a good idea, I would have felt a sense of certainty. I would have felt pleased and maybe even felt a sense of peace about the decision. Instead I felt enough uncertainty to call a friend.

I could have saved myself a phone call if I had paid attention to what I was feeling!

Make friends with your emotions
Our emotions are our friends. They are our internal alert system that lets us know what is good, or bad, for us. They are the barometer of what is going on inside. The challenge we all face, however, is that we are taught in our society that emotions are to be suspect. They can’t be trusted. That somehow it’s better to keep your emotions in check and be ruled by your ‘mind.’

This is only partially true. Our ‘mind’ is a great tool for analysis – for evaluating both sides of an argument. It helps us weigh facts and make practical decisions. However, a decision based on what is most practical is not always the best decision.

I once made career decision based on what I thought would provide the best financial security for our household. What I really wanted to do, however, was to take another more interesting (but lower paying) position. The decision was practical and logical, but I was miserable in that higher paying job! I quit 6 months later!  I had made the mistake of not taking the wisdom of my emotions into my considerations.

Our emotions alert us to what is good, or bad, for us
Our emotions are our internal alert system. When angry, our emotions are warning us that someone might be taking advantage of us, or treating us poorly. When we are fearful, we’re being warned to pay attention ‑ danger may lie ahead. If we are edgy, nervous, or secretive about our actions, then we’re about to do something that isn’t in our best interest. When we feel pleasure, joy, or a sense of peace, our emotions are letting us know that whatever we are doing is positive. Embrace it!

When we are busy thinking or worrying our way through a decision, we drown out our inner wisdom which is linked to our ‘emotional alert system.’ Worrying is a waste of time and confuses the matter. Instead, just grow calm and let your mind quiet down.

Listen to your emotions and your body
Once you are more relaxed think about a decision you must make. Listen, not to your mind running its analysis, but instead pay attention to what you are feeling in your body. Just notice the physical sensations and the emotions you are feeling. Then, one by one, weigh your options while noticing any shifts in your physical or emotional state. Take notes if you must, but just pay attention to what you are feeling.

Notice if your body feels tense, your chest heavy, if there is a knot in your stomach, or your breathing changes. Also pay attention to any changes in your emotional state. Do you feel anxious, nervous, overwhelmed, fearful, distressed, cautious, or unease of any kind? If you notice any of these shifts in your body or emotions, then that option may not be the best choice. If you feel calm, relaxed, a sense of ease or contentment, or even relief and/or happiness, then most likely this is the better course of action. Sometimes your choice will be the one that makes you feel less distress… or more ease.

Notice if your body feels tense, your chest heavy, if there is a knot in your stomach, or your breathing changes. Also pay attention to any changes in your emotional state. Do you feel anxious, nervous, overwhelmed, fearful, distressed, cautious, or unease of any kind? If you notice any of these shifts in your body or emotions, then that option may not be the best choice. If you feel calm, relaxed, a sense of ease or contentment, or even relief and/or happiness, then most likely this is the better course of action. Sometimes your choice will be the one that makes you feel less distress… or more ease.

Make better decisions by paying attention to your body and emotions
I’m not advising that you ignore the practical elements needed to make a good decision. I am suggesting, however, that by also accessing your inner wisdom by paying attention to your physical and emotional reactions, you will be able to make wiser decisions that will end up better serving your highest good and greatest joy.

If you are confused or feel uneasy about the decisions and choices you have made, or are about to make, please give me a call today and requests a 30-minute complimentary consultation.  Call Joy 415-819-8769 or email me.

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