Whose Thoughts Are They Anyway?

Why do I have to work so hard for everything I get?

Better be on guard, for the next bad thing is sure to happen.

Why can’t I ever get ahead?

Do these kinds of thoughts weave their way through your mind? If so, are they even yours? Or are they stray thoughts picked up from the mass collective that pervade the space around us just like air molecules?

I am beginning to have some serious questions about the source of many of my negative thoughts. In reality I have a pretty good life. I am doing the work I love. I have clients who value my skills, knowledge and experience. I was able to get the education I wanted and benefit from that knowledge. I live in a beautiful place where I feel safe. I have great friends and communities. My family is doing well. I have financial resources that enable me to do the things I really want to do.

YET… I still fall into that victim negative thinking of not having enough, or being enough!

When I stop and count my blessings, I realize that I really have a lot. My gratitude list is quite long. Why, then, do I keep cycling into negative thinking?

I am beginning to realize that some of those thoughts just aren’t mine, even though they pervade my thinking and pull me down just as if they were mine.

Some of those thoughts I can trace back to my parents. Both grew up during the depression. My mother repeatedly told the story of having to give back all her Christmas gifts when she was four because her parents lost all their money when the stock market crashed. They couldn’t pay off their debts and everything had to go back, even her favorite new purse. My father grew up on the farm with an outhouse and no electricity. He worked hard on that farm even though he was just a child. Both my parents suffered from what I call “depression mentality.”

My parents probably had many legitimate reasons for harboring thoughts about life being hard, and money being hard to come by. This was their experience, and I honor their experience. But their experience is not my reality! I’m learning to recognize the limiting thoughts of my parents, to separate their thoughts from my thoughts, and to mentally “send them back” to my parents. I don’t have to continue carrying the burden of my parents’ experience!

If your parents have passed on their own limiting thoughts, then you can send them back also. We all have enough going on right now in the present. We don’t need to dredge up the past, especially if it’s a past that belonged to our parents.

Sometimes we create a contract with our parents promising to suffer from the same burdens they did. It’s time to tear up those contracts and send back, or delete them – each thought one by one.

As soon as you recognize a negative thought as belonging to your parent, or anyone else, mentally stop, gather it up, and send it back. You can imagine emailing it back through the ethers, or burning it in a transmuting violet flame, or you can even put it in a bottle and throw it into an imaginary sea. Simple visuals like these will help you contain those thoughts that piggyback onto yours and release them. This practice will help you make more room for your own thoughts which are probably much more positive – much like my own present time thoughts are.

Our parents influence the development of our belief systems and how we operate in the world. Many times this is positive. Sometimes, however, we pick up some negative debris that we just need to purge. If you have trouble letting go of the experiences, thoughts and beliefs of your parents, or the mass consciousness in general, give me a call and come in for a complementary consultation. It is time to embrace the present and to be the master of your thoughts. Call Joy at 415-819-8769 or email

2 Responses to Whose Thoughts Are They Anyway?

  1. fern filner July 27, 2017 at 7:25 pm #

    Thank you Joy! Your words resonate and make sense. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Jenn July 28, 2017 at 3:55 pm #

    Love this topic! I never think to explore are the thoughts even mine. Thank you for these helpful tools.

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