Halloween is upon us again. It’s the time of ghosts, goblins, and shadowy figures. Sometimes they are of our own creation. They jump out and plague us when we least suspect.
Many of you know that I am fond of ancient Goddess archetypes. Their myths and legends have survived into contemporary times because they still hold kernels of truth and insights into human nature.
One of the Goddesses I hold in high esteem is Hecate. She is the Greek Goddess of the Underworld and functions as the Guardian of the Souls guiding them to the underworld and back again for rebirth.
In the transpersonal psychology community, the underworld is a metaphor for the sub-conscious – that shadowy inner realm of our deepest thoughts, feelings, fears, and self-doubts. No one, not even the most accomplished – are free of this realm, for wherever we go, it goes with us.
We live in a culture, however, that avoids acknowledging uncomfortable feelings. There is a perception that to admit our feelings, especially those that concede that we are vulnerable, is an admission of weakness – that we just might be damaged goods!
Avoidance doesn’t serve anyone, however. When you push unwelcomed emotions underground, they often re-emerge with a vengeance. There is a saying “What we resist – persists.” Have you experienced this? I have.
I am noticing a growing phenomenon in my practice. More and more clients (both men and women) are lamenting their feelings of unhappiness, anxiety, depression, and of feeling stuck, trapped, or burnt out. They complain that they aren’t showing up as their best self: their performance is suffering, their relationships aren’t working, and/or they are in crisis! Something is wrong and they realize their life lacks joy, pleasure, passion, and love. It’s as if some shadowy figure has sucked the aliveness right out of their life.
Often, in the work that I do, I function as a modern day Hecate! I guide my clients into the shadowy realm of their inner thoughts and fears. We dig deep to uncover those core issues preventing them from living the life they want and deserve. Often, we reframe, release, or heal old beliefs, conditioning, and negative self-perceptions. A lot of this “old stuff” comes from childhood when, for a myriad of reasons, we were made to feel “not good enough.”
When I was child there were many times when I felt helpless, flawed, scared and vulnerable. I know I’m not the only one with these same childhood memories. If they aren’t healed, these memories can be triggered in adulthood showing up as anxiety, fears, doubts and insecurities. Childhood memories lurk in the shadows of our subconscious as the ghosts, goblins, and demons that keep us from experiencing the joy, passion and love we deserve.
It’s not fun working with these shadowy realms. But it can be enlightening and liberating when we learn to have compassion for our younger self who IN THE PAST may have been simply scared and vulnerable.
How to do the Inner Work
Doing the inner work frees us so that we can deal with the adult challenges we face in the workplace or in our relationships.
When you find yourself triggered – you may either feel anxious, insecure, vulnerable, angry, or fearful – try taking a few quiet moments to ask yourself when in the past you had those similar feelings. Take time to sort through your memories. It could be recently, or could even take you back to childhood. I’m willing to bet that the source of your trigger is tied to something that happened to you in the past. Then observe your younger self in that memory. Was She or He equipped to adequately deal with that situation? I bet that you weren’t! And this is quite probably the source of your anger, frustration, fear, anxiety, or insecurity.
Once you have identified the source of your trigger, try to find some compassion for your younger self. Remind yourself that at that time you just didn’t have the capacity to cope effectively. Give yourself a virtual hug. And remind yourself that today YOU are stronger, more knowledgeable and experienced, and have many more skills than YOU did in the past. This will help you realize that TODAY you have the capacity to cope and to find the solutions that you need for today’s challenges. Once you realize that NOW you are better equipped, then you will be able to face life’s challenges with much greater confidence and self-assurance.
These painful memories of your past are the source of your worst demons, goblins and ghosts. And with the help of Hecate you can travel into the shadow realm to seek your own healing.
If you lack enjoyment and passion, or feel frustrated, anxious or burnt-out, and are in need of help to transform your life, then contact Joy at joy@joyreichard.com or at 415-819-8769 to schedule a complementary 20-minute consultation and find out how you can live a more joyful and passionate life.
