Gender stereotyping still occurs in our society. One of my clients, a very savvy twenty-something, shared with me that her supervisor pulled her aside and told her, “not to be so emotional,” after giving a talk on a project she was passionate about. Not one to be easily intimidated, my client pointed out to him that he would never accuse one of her male colleagues as being “too emotional!”
I work with many women entrepreneurs and business women who have successfully engaged their masculine active/doing sides. They are out there doing their work: supervising, selling, leading, networking, marketing, etc. Some are doing great! Others haven’t been able to find the right formula for success, or getting that steady flow of clients. They are doing everything right… but something’s off.
For the latter, I often wonder if they are sacrificing their full sensual feminine self by sliding too far into their ‘inner-masculine’ and becoming overly ‘male-identified’. Too often we women think we have to be as good as a man or even better in order to be successful. This can actually be counter-productive if it becomes a personal style that is abrasive, full-tilt assertive, or even overpowering.
Male-identification, I believe, is a feminist backlash in a society which still favors masculine qualities and ways of thinking. It’s time for women to let go of the past, reclaim our full feminine self, and step into the future. The Dalai Lama inferred when he said the world would be saved by the Western woman that we women have work to do. There’s no time to be hung up on an old paradigm that keeps women, and men, stuck in an outdated belief system.
During my own journey I came to realize that when a woman owns her inner-masculine, she has a greater chance of being successful in the business world. When a woman sacrifices her feminine self, however, it can leave her feeling disconnected from the true essence of who she is. Then a woman can come off as appearing abrasive instead of assertive, as bitchy rather than as ‘taking a stand’, as ‘being just like a woman’ when passionate, or as too ‘touchy-feely’ when showing empathy or compassion. I’ve also heard way too many tales of women being negative or demeaning to each other in the work-place, rather than being supportive and collaborative.
Another reason for the denigration of women is because we have a bad rep as the “weaker sex.” In reality, and in so many ways, the feminine is the more powerful, resilient and resourceful gender. I watched my mother-in-law hold everything and everyone together when my father-in-law went through several major health crises while her adult sons were almost paralyzed by worry and concern. This is more common than we women are credited for. The old paradigm keeps women stuck in stereotypical roles that are both no longer relevant and too confining for contemporary times.