Why is everything so difficult?
Why do I have to work so hard just to get by?
Why don’t I ever have enough? Money always seems to go faster than it comes.
Do these kinds of thoughts lurk like a thief in the crevices of your mind? Do they steal your sense of inner peace and contentment? If so, are they even yours? Or are they stray thoughts picked up from the mass collective consciousness that pervade the air around us?
I am beginning to have some serious questions about the source of many of my negative thoughts. In reality I have a pretty good life. I am doing the work I love. I have clients who value my skills, knowledge and experience. I was able to get the education I wanted, and benefit from that knowledge. I live in the perfect condo in a beautiful complex. I have great friends. My family is doing well. I have financial resources that enable me to do the things that are important to me. I have time for play.
YET… I still fall into that victim mode of thinking that “I don’t have enough, or I’m not enough”!
When I stop and count my blessings, I realize that I really have a lot. My gratitude list is quite long. Why, then, do I keep cycling into negative thinking?
I am beginning to realize that some of those thoughts just aren’t mine, even though they permeate my thinking and pull me down just as if they were mine.
Are those Negative Thoughts Really Yours?
Some of those thoughts I can trace back to my parents. Both grew up during the Depression. My mother repeatedly told the story of having to give back all her Christmas gifts when she was four because her parents lost all their money in the stock market crash of 1929. My father grew up on the farm with an outhouse and no electricity. He worked hard even though he was just a child. He tells a story of being rented out when he was ten along with the horse to a neighbor for 10 cents an hour each! Both my parents suffered from what I call “depression mentality.”
My parents probably had many legitimate reasons for harboring thoughts about life being hard, and money being hard to come by. This was their experience, and I honor their experience. But their experience is not my reality! I’m learning to recognize the limiting thoughts of my parents, to separate their thoughts from my thoughts, and to mentally “send them back” to my parents. I don’t have to continue carrying the burden of my parents’ experience!
If your parents have passed on their own limiting thoughts, then you can send them back also. We all have enough of our own stuff to cope with in the present moment. We don’t need to dredge up the past, especially if it’s a past that belonged to our parents, someone else, or even the mass collective.
Sometimes we contract with our parents, promising to suffer from the same burdens they did. It’s time to tear up those contracts and send back!
As soon as you recognize a negative thought as belonging to your parent, or anyone else, mentally stop, gather it up, and send it back. You can imagine emailing it back through the ethers, or burning it, or you can even put it in a bottle and throw it into an imaginary sea. Simple visuals like this can help you over time to recognize more quickly those negative thoughts that are piggybacking on yours. Using a visual, even if you have to do it multiple times, will help you to release those intruding thoughts. This process will also help you make more room for your own positive thoughts – like your own personal list of gratitudes.
Our parents influence the development of our belief systems and how we operate in the world. Most of it is positive. Sometimes, however, we pick up a lot of negative debris that we need to purge. If you have trouble letting go of behaviors, thoughts and/or beliefs that don’t rightfully belong to you, give me a call and come in for a complimentary 30-minute consultation. It is time to embrace the present and to be the master of your thoughts. Call Joy at 415-819-8769 or email joy@joyreichard.com