The Dilemma of the "Should's" and "Have To's"

As I sit down to write an article for this week’s e-zine, I am aware of the inner dialog I sometimes have when I’m trying to get out a weekly e-zine. It goes something like this:

“But I really don’t feel like it. I’m tired. My mind is all foggy. I can’t move through the sludge to even find something to write about. Maybe I’ll just skip it this week.”

“You really should write the article, though. Some of your following might miss your words of wisdom.”

“Ha! Are my ramblings even valuable? Maybe I should give it all up. Maybe it’s just a waste of time.”

“But people like to hear what you have to say. You really should write the e-zine. Stop whining. Just do it. It won’t be that bad. Really it won’t.”

So here I am, writing about the “should’s” and “have to’s” that I battle with almost daily. I should exercise. I should make my smoothie. I should wash my face and apply face cream before going to bed. I have to floss my teeth. I should get gas now and not put it off until I’m almost on empty. Why does everything seem to be such a struggle?

The truth is, these thoughts of “should’s” and “have to’s” are fabrications of our own mind. What if I do let the gas tank dial go to empty? What if I didn’t floss my teeth tonight, or for a week, or even a month? The sky won’t fall! Nor will my teeth fall out!

Bottom line is: it’s my choice! It has always been my choice to do, or not do, one of my fabricated “should’s” and “have to’s”.

When I make the choice to do or not, then I’m in control. I can choose how I want to play out my life. I can wait until the dial is on empty. If I’m scrambling late at night after work when I’m tired searching for that gas station so I can make sure I get home, that’s my choice. Or, I can choose to calmly, and at a convenient time, get gas so I can avoid the last minute late night scramble. I can choose to indulge myself by lovingly applying face cream to keep my skin youthful and soft. I can choose to floss my teeth to avoid the time spent getting a filling, or worse – a root canal or a crown.

What if I choose to write this article because I want to stay connected to you, my followers? What if I decide I want to share a bit of my experience and/or knowledge that might help you face your daily struggles with more insight, hope, and joy? What if I chose to come from love, rather than hard work, effort and struggle?

For me, just knowing that I have this choice makes all the difference. Then I can come from a totally different place. What was drudgery and effort before now becomes easier, almost effortless.

Do you think embracing your right to choose, rather than forcing yourself to do the “should’s” and “have to’s”, makes the difference for you too? Please let me know.

Are you struggling with all the “should’s” and “have to’s” in your life? Would you like to learn how to face your life with more ease and joy? Then give Joy at call at 415-819-8769 or email Joy for a 30-minute complimentary consultation.